Godspeed
2:58 AM
Have you ever been so excited about your dream, been so enthusiastic to fight for your dream, but when you're almost there, suddenly you started to question yourself, doubt, and wonder your self worth.
Let me tell you. It sucks.
Currently, I am so anxious. I am not sure why. I am working for something that I want so badly. I guess that is the reason why. because I want it so 'badly'. before this, if I ever want something, most of the time, any how, I'll get it, I'll have it. I'll fight like crazy. let say these things are not something that money can buy. Whatever my goal is, I will make it happen. That is how to picture my effort and spirit. but when it comes to the outcome, normally I'd just be 50-50. If it's good for me, it'll happen, but if say the outcome isn't as something desire, I put it as 'thats not for me, perhaps something greater awaits'. That is how I deal with rejection.
Wanting something so much is unhealthy. but still, I'm trying to keep my mind grounded to the fact that most likely anything can happen.
I am in the midst of planning for something big. but that actually is one of my dream though. just recently I started to wonder myself whether am I good enough for it? I questioned my self-worth which is something I'm not usually practise. It just these are the times, when those tiny inner voices started to stop me from going.
Then I received an email from beloved Ben. It was simple-kind-just-forwarded email. but it does give me an impact.
“Go where the expectations are so strong that they provoke you, push you, urgently insist that you not remain in one place. That way, you will grow and change.”I guess he knew I needed it. It was somehow what I've been thinking. That is something we called to 'step out from your comfort zone'. Leaving your comfort zone can be scary at times, but one thing for sure, once I managed to do it, it will be one of the best decision I ever made. and that is how most of the best decision I made in my life were created. That is true though, by leaving my comfort zone, that is how I will learn, change and grow the most.
—Jim Rohn
So to my future self, you'll be making the decision soon. I know how bad you want it. Aside from the main reason for you making such decision, I know the other factors influence a lot too. like how bad you want to be there for some other reasons which is actually you supposed not to take into consideration. Say if the out come isn't according to your desire, it's okay. That is normal, that is life. As long you know you've done your best. The result that you'll be getting soon, it just a beginning. let it good or bad. if it's good, then you know there's still way to go before you actually be 'there'. Even when you already there, still got so many things to do to make it the best out of it!
Lets do this!
Godspeed
May this picture helps!
Harbour Bridge, Sydney
February 22, 2016
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